Study on Teen Sex and Parents' Impact

Some quote rom the article...
on Perceived Disapproval:
If adolescent girls perceive their parents' disapproval of teenage sex, she is less likely to have a sexually transmitted disease six years later, according to the study published in the Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine. Dr. Carol Ford, an associate professor at the University of North Carolina School of Medicine, lead researcher of the 2005 study, says the findings indicate that parents should make their view on sex clear to their children.
...
on The Talk:
There's no "magic number" when it comes to the age or maturity level that parents believe is the right time for sex, nor is there a single best way for parents to prepare their children for the event, says Ford, though most parents say they would indeed prefer that their children wait "until they're older."

But it seems the earlier that parents start talking about sex, the older that children are when they lose their virginity, Ford says.

"Even if parents aren't talking about sex, kids are hearing about it, so it's best for parents to find a way to discuss it, too. Talk about what's on TV - and indicate whether you think it's acceptable or unacceptable behavior. What you say will vary depending on the kid, the family's values."

She adds: "Waiting until 10 or 11 for 'the big talk' is less effective than incorporating the topic of sexuality in the course of everyday conversation. Discussions won't come easy, but if it doesn't go the way you wish, you can revisit the conversation a few days later. Humor and laughter will help make the conversations comfortable for everyone."

For Middle Schoolers on:
With a middle-schooler, for example, don't shut the door on future conversations by speaking in very harsh and specific terms, Ford advises. Instead, she says, if you've come into contact with a young single mother, just make an observation: "It'll be hard for her to finish school with a baby, and, gosh, it's hard to raise a kid when you're so young."

"Consider it an ongoing dialogue instead of 'the big talk,' " Ford says.

Check out the full article here.

Purity - Week 3

If you haven't been a part of the parent's discussion class yet, I encourage you to block time out of your schedule this Wednesday night at 6:15. Parents will be meeting in room 183. If you'd like to join us in MiX for our large group teaching time, you can join us in the lower level at 6:15 and then go on to room 183 for discussion and hearing from Kenny.

The topic for this week:

03/22/2006 – Do-Overs: Grace and Love. The message of the gospel is incomplete without grace. All of our students will have fallen short of God’s high standard in one fashion or another. But God’s desire is not for them to go through life beating themselves up over their sin.

It should make for interesting discussion. Don't buy out on the lie that we're immune and don't need to think about this.

Purity - Week 3 - Questions for Guys and Girls

How does it make you feel when you hear that God’s standard is for “not even a hint” of sexual immorality?

If someone asked you about physical boundaries in a relationship, what would you say to them?

What would be the advantages of deciding about physical boundaries in a relationship before you were put in circumstances in which you might be tempted to sin?

How do you feel like your temptation to sin sexually will change as you get older?

Do you think there’ll be a certain age at which you will automatically not be tempted any more?

Has your desire for a boyfriend or girlfriend overrun your desire for God? If so how? If not, how do you continue to walk in that?

Have you ever experienced any kind of temptation in which, after you gave into it, you just wanted more? Talk about that.

How do other students at school talk about sex?

Have you found that students your age are already participating in some sort of sexual activities? How does that make you feel?

What are some activities that may seem like they are in a gray area regarding physical purity?
How would you determine whether or not these actions are sin or not?

What are some things that you would like to know that your future husband or wife is “saving” for you?
How does this affect how you interact with others?

Basketball for the Glory of God

Check out this post from C.J. Mahaney about watching and playing basketball with his son Chad.

Purity - Week 2 - Questions for Girls

• Do you tell others what they want to hear about their relationships or what seems to be true? (i.e. encourage the idea that a guy likes her if
  
• there is not apparent that he does)
• How would you describe emotional intimacy?
  
• Why would emotional purity be something you would want for your life?
  
• What helps you obtain and maintain emotional purity? What hinders it?
  
• Are your relationships clearly defined?
  
• Do you allow older people or parents to be involved in/know about your relationships? Why? Why not?
  
• If you looked at all your single friends as someone else's mate would you treat them any differently? Why?
  
• Can a man be a gentleman without you thinking he wants to date you?
  
• How would commitment before intimacy aid in helping you remain emotionally pure?
  
• Last week we talked about how you are made in God's image and that you are like teacups (precious and to be taken care of). How can you remind yourself of this when you feel like you're not so valuable?
  
• Describe how the depth of conversation on-line with guys is different than the depth of conversation in person. Why is there a difference?
  
• What can you do to safeguard your and your friends' emotional purity on Myspace/AIM/the Internet?
  
• If a girl tells you that she and the guy she just met talked on the phone all night this past weekend, what does that make you think about their friendship? In light of this discussion, what do you think about this?
  
• If you posted pictures of yourself on the Internet (like Myspace) and some random person told you that you were beautiful, how would that make you feel?
  
  • Would you be tempted to talk with this person and tell them more about your life?
  • How could this endanger your emotional purity?
  • How could this potentially physically endanger you?
  
  
  
  

Purity - Week 2 - Questions for Guys

• What are your motives for being kind to girls?
• How would you describe emotional intimacy?
• Are your relationships clearly defined?
• Are you a gentleman to all females?
• Do you have older people or parents involved in your relationships?
• If you looked at all your single friends as someone else's mate would you treat them any differently? Why?
• Describe how the depth of conversation on-line with girls is different than the depth of conversation in person. Why is there a difference?
• What can you do to safeguard your and your female friends' emotional purity on Myspace/AIM/the Internet?
• If a guy tells you that he and the girl he just met talked on the phone all night this past weekend, what does that make you think about their friendship? In light of this discussion, what do you think about this?

Purity - Week 1 - Questions for Girls

• What image of women is portrayed in:
• Magazines?
• Movies?
• Supermodel runways?
• Commercials?
• Music videos?
• Pornography?
• Do you think that most women look like these women look?
• Do you think most women act like these women act?
• Do you think most women should act like these women act?
• How do these images make you feel as a young woman?
• How does it make you feel when you consider that you are created in God’s image?
• How do guys’ opinions, actions, speech, etc. shape the way you feel about yourself?
• If you hear guys talking about or showing special attention to girls other than you, how does that make you feel?
• If you think other guys find another girl especially attractive, how does it affect how you treat or interact with her?
• Suppose someday there is a guy that you are interested in, but he doesn’t notice you.
• If you observe your classmates and see which girls get the most attention and try to mimic their behavior, dress, language, etc., how might it affect the attention your “target” gives you?
• Describe any danger in this philosophy.
• What is the difference between dressing stylishly and dressing seductively?
• What is your response to seeing a good-looking guy?
• With
  your eyes?
• With your words?
• With your thoughts?
• When you look for a husband, what qualities will you look for?
• Pornography is often thought of as something that men are tempted by but not women. This may often be true, but not always. The Bible teaches that even looking at someone else lustfully is like cheating on your spouse. What do you think a young woman should do if she is giving into the temptation to view pornography?

Purity - Week 1 - Questions for Guys

• How do we talk differently about girls when they’re not around than we do when they are around?
• If you or your friends see an attractive girl, what is your or their response?
• With your eyes?
• With your words?
• If other girls ever hear the way you talk about girls you find attractive, describe how that could make them feel.
• What behaviors, dress, language, etc. might cause a guy to be more attracted to a girl?
• If one of our sisters sees that guys are attracted to girls who act in that way, how might this affect them?
• How can we encourage our sisters to hear the Biblical message about how they should act and not simply a marred cultural message?
• When you begin looking for a wife, what aspects of a woman would you look for?
• What kind of media is there that affects how we view women?
• Pornography is abundant, especially today when the Internet makes everything so accessible. Probably almost anyone who has browsed the Internet for any substantial length of time has accidentally run across pornography. How have you experienced this to be true?
• How can porn shape the way we view women?
• Do you think Christians are immune to be tempted sexually by things like pornography? If yes, how? If not, tell us about that.
• It is clear that pornography is sinful. Jesus himself says that if we look at a woman lustfully, we have cheated on our wives in our hearts. Think about that – you’re not even married yet, but you could be cheating on your wife. How do you think it would make your future wife feel to know if you are viewing pornography?
• What if she knew that you had struggled with it but God helped you overcome it?
• What could be dangerous about a sin like pornography more than something that more directly involves other people?
• If a Christian gives into the temptation to watch pornography, what course of action should he take?
• Computer software exists that keeps logs of web sites that you visit and sends them to someone else to review. Whether you are struggling with pornography right now or not, do you think this could be useful?

The Dirt on Purity Schedule

03/1/2006 – Culture vs. the Bible: How our culture shapes our view of ourselves and each other. This includes movies, magazines, music videos, and simply how we talk about and to each other.

03/8/2006 – Emotional Purity: Pitfalls in relating to the opposite sex. We will talk about purity in our emotions. Especially in an internet-connected world, we are tempted to let our guard down and share intimately about ourselves with anyone. Even being too intimate in this kind of way can have damaging consequences in the future.

03/15/2006 – Boundaries of Holiness: The Freedom of Holiness. This week we will talk about God’s high standard of purity. The challenge will be for our students to recognize that pleasing God must take priority over pleasing any man or woman. With that said, our goal should not be to “draw a line in the sand” to not cross regarding purity, but to realize how high of a bar God has set (Matthew 5:27-28).

03/22/2006 – Do-Overs: Grace and Love. The message of the gospel is incomplete without grace. All of our students will have fallen short of God’s high standard in one fashion or another. But God’s desire is not for them to go through life beating themselves up over their sin.

03/29/2006 – Q&A. Each week we will be accepting written questions from students. Some of these questions will be answered during the month, but many of them we may reserve until the last week or re-address at this time. By being open and talking about purity, we expect that our students will see this as a safe place to ask questions that they are already wondering about, but not finding a safe place in which they can ask them.

March MiX Message Series: The Dirt on Purity

In the month of March, Immanuel’s Student Ministry is taking the opportunity to speak truth into the lives of our students in the area of purity and relationships. We desire to address the issue in a way that is both context-sensitive and honestly aware of the marred view of relationships and genders that our society projects into the lives of our young people.

This teaching will take place on Wednesday nights at our SHAKE (high school) and MiX (middle school) programs. The series is titled The Dirt on Purity. It seems that study after study shows how students are making poor decisions about their purity, and they are making these decisions at younger and younger ages. The most important context in which our students can hear a positive, proper view of sex is the home. We desire to partner with you in that venture, and support your students as a church. When this happens, our students will not have only what they hear in hallways, locker rooms, and on the Internet to shape their views on relationships, sex, and purity.

The general format for each week will be a large group teaching time with all Middle School students together in the Lower Level of the ROC and all High School students together in the Summit. Following this teaching time, students will be divided by gender and similar age into smaller groups for discussion. In these groups they will discuss the topic of the week, and they will have the opportunity to write down other questions that come to their mind or prayer requests that they have. These smaller groups will be led by adults of the same gender.

In addition to our normal MiX and Shake programs, we are offering a class for parents that will meet on Wednesday nights. At 6:15, we invite high school parents to go to Room 183 for a parents teaching and discussion time on the topics of their students’ purity, relationships, and other relevant issues. Middle school parents have the option of attending the MiX large group session and then joining the parents in Room 183, or they may go directly to the parents' discussion class.

We are looking forward to The Dirt on Purity. If you have questions, concerns, or feedback at any point before, during, or after the study, please contact me. Additionally, if you would like to receive email updates on this and other issues for your Middle School student, please email Nick. (See the church web site for contact information.)

Horseplay Offenders Beware

This teenager got 4 days in juvenile detention after he brought some harm to his friend while waiting in line.

HT: MarkO